Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I'm a Bad Neighbor...

Me and my wife (she was my fiance at the time) Kim moved into our first house in May of 2008.

You would think we would know at least some of the neighbors on a first name basis.  Not only do we not know their names, we've barely spoken to any of them.

We do know a few, but only in the very brief, "Hey how ya doin?" and in the house/car you go kinda way.

To the left of us there is a young married couple, I assume only a couple years older than I am (I'm 27 FYI).  I should know them right?  But I don't.  I know the wife is Julie and the husband I can't for the life remember his name.  It could be Brian.  I'm not really sure.  I should pay way more attention to people than I actually do.

They seem nice though.  They really do.  I actually said hello to the wife, Julie, three times last week as she was smoking her cigarette in anticipation of her workout walk she takes with her friend.

One guy across the street came all over all huffy and was all adamant that one of our cats had taken a piss in his trunk.

Our cats were actually inside all night and all that day, but hey, he knew what he was talking about.

There are some REALLY old people that live kitty corner to us.  I paid them a visit, after my own cousin broke into my house and robbed me (that's it's only stand alone story), to see if they had seen anyone around my house, but of course they hadn't, they are old remember.

The guy directly across the street is nice, even though I can't remember his name either.  He's also a little on the old side.  Not quite as ancient as the kitty corner old people, but he's   I say "hi" once in a while and he askes how Prince (our year old boxer dog) is doing while he is standing outside with a pair of pajama bottoms on and no shirt, flashing the wonderfulness that are his old man gut and moobies (man boobies) while yelling at his cockapoo lookin dog to come back inside.

To the right, and on the other side of the street is this lady.  Don't know her name.  Never even said a word to her before.  But she has this wonderful miniature pinscher that just LOVES to bark incessantly at 5 in the morning.  I don't wish harm on defenseless animals, but I've come real close to stringing this one up myself.

And last, but certainly not least, is Joe.  You don't just hear about Joe and understand what we mean, you need to actually meet him to get the full, real experience.

He's old, he's retired, he's been alone for a long time, and he lives in the same house he lived in when he was a kid.  How do I know this?  Not because I asked him, but because this man just talks.  A lot.  A LOT a lot.

Joe is creepy.  Most everyone who meets him thinks he's creepy and wishes to avoid him, including my wife, who we left outside alone with him for a good half hour one time.  She wasn't pleased.

Bottomline is if there are any missing children in the neighborhood, I'm not saying he's responsible, but he should at least be on the 'to be questioned' list.  Harsh?  Yes, but also true.

So as you can see I am a pretty bad neighbor.

I'd like to say I'm going to show more effort to trying to meet these people and know more than just their names, or even just their names in some cases, but who would I be kidding?


  1. Will,
    With no idea what to write about, you did an excellent job; very interesting reading thanks for sharing!

  2. Neighbors are a funny thing. We were in our house probably 3 years before we made any real friends. And sadly it was an accident that brought us together. I was standing in my house and heard a horrible crash. I rushed out to find a city bus had t-boned a car full of teenagers in front of my house (I live on a corner). My neighbor and I were the first on the scene. We each picked one of the worst off teens and sat with them until ambulances arrived. Once we were interviewed by police we introduced ourselves. Almost 8 years later and we are the type of friends that now take vacations together. Give it some time and you'll get to know people better.