Tuesday, May 11, 2010


OK so out of pure morbid curiosity I signed into my Myspace account (that I haven't logged into in roughly 8 months) to look back at some old blogs I wrote.  Some are, obviously, ridiculous.

I did come across this gem though.  It was December 26, 2006.

So read and enjoy in my pain.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Don't forget your keys.....
Current mood: sore
Category: Blogging

....cause when you do you can't get back into the house unless you break in. Kinda like I just did. I can't describe how fucking pissed off at myself I am. This is how my adventure transpired about roughly 20 minutes ago. I realize I have to get into the house and pray that it isn't wet all over because of the rain....but of course it's what? FUCKING WET EVERYWHERE! I figure I won't slide through the window and get all wet and muddy, so I go around back and try to break into the back door that is locked from the inside, and leads right into my back room. Well since everything is wet, that means the nice wooden steps are soaked. OK everyone take a guess at what happened to me? I fell right!?!?! RIGHT!!! My back and right forearm are now killing me. It was one of them pains where you can't just sit still and have to run around like a moron too. People driving by, a couple walking their dog staring at me like I'm a fucking escaped mental patient from the CDPC.

Alright, try number two coming up. This time I go slow as all living hell and make it down safe. I fiddle around and try to find something to slide the chain lock over with, but of course it doesn't matter because the door doesn't open enough for me to do that. I try anyway. It obviously doesn't work.

So now I have to walk back up the stairs...that are wet....that I already fell down. Honestly I kinda just reserved myself to the fact that I was going to fall again. Thank God I didn't because I probably would have punched something really close and that would have been either the thick wooden post or the concrete. Either of which I would have broken something in my hand on. But I did make it back up the stairs.

Now I have to go back around the house and slide in the window, which isn't so easy being that I live in a basement apartment. They are regular size windows, but when you slide in you are going straight down. Not fun. And just for kicks there is this nice prickley, piney, pointy plant right outside of the window and I have to lay down on it and put my hands on it and the god damn thing makes you ich like a mother. But I obviously made it in in one peice because I'm typing this blog informing anyone that reads it that I had a rough day getting into my apartment.

So I'm sitting here.....wet.....dirty......iching.....bruised.....but thankfully not broken, I don't think anyway.

This just again reminds me that I am slightly retarded without my trusty fiancee at my side. EVERY morning she asks me, "do you have your keys??" and I respond increduously with, "yeah like I'd forget my keys" like there was no way I would ever do any such thing. Well guess what? She's not here for a week and I forgot my keys. BIG SURPRISE!!! And after all this ranting I'm doing right now, you wanna know what? When she comes back and continues to ask me if I have my keys, I'm going to respond the say exact way, because Lord knows I wouldn't ever do that. Basically I'm just lacking in intelligence without Kim. She needs to not leave me for more than a few days at a time....I apparently can't function properly without her!

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha... I love this one. Especially one of the labels being "I'm stupid" LOL too funny